Saturday, January 28, 2006

lucky little lady in the city of lights.....

Yep, that's me. A lucky lady in So. Cal. So we went out last night even though "The Man" didn't get our thingy in on time YET. The bills are just gonna wait 'cause time isn't and I need to have some fun here before I go. We went to this place with a view of the beach and watched the surfers and the sunset. The restaurant is called Sparks Woodfire Cooking. They evidently cook everything on woodfire. It was sooo good, I had Mahi Mahi with an apricot sauce (it was grilled). They have a huge firepit in the restaurant so you can sit outside and not freeze (hey, that ocean breeze is cold at night). So we ate and hashed out our life plans. I will be going back in mid Feb, proly the 20th to look for an apartment and get the kids into school. We have never lived in an apartment before. Understand this, my hubby is a country guy and we got a trailer when we got married and put it on a piece of land so we were never renters back in the day. Then we went from a trailer to our house we are selling. It is a wierd transitional thing going on here but hey, whatever. That's the point I'm at.
Today a friend called from "the bus garage" and is happy to hear I'm coming back. She says I have not lost my seniority or my bus run which is good news. She is on the commitee (like a union) and said it was discussed already. This is contrary to what my boss told me, she said I lost my seniority and run. But I have a contract so...
The thing is I am now not so sure I will be going back there. It is kinda surprising to hear from them they missed me and are "thrilled" I'm coming back, I figure I'm just a nobody there, doing my thing. Now I am feeling sooo conflicted. I felt at peace last night like ok, we are doing this thing and then Kimmi called and I feel really sad now. I do not like to disappoint people, and I didn't think I would. Oh hell, they'll get over it. Isn't that what I should tell myself? I am an unstable person. Really. Like I said before, get me the guys from Queer Eye and they could organize my life for me and tell me what to do and that'd be fine w/me at this point. Where is Carson when I need him? Oh yeah, they like guys, thats right. Damn.

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