Tuesday, January 17, 2006

It's a Whale of a tail and muffins too...

I had a good laugh today watching the news. On CNN it was reported there are some new phrases to add to our vocabularies. Whaletail: when the little triangle top of some chicks thong is showing over her pants. (Because her pants are barely covering her ass.) Hey, I wear lowriders too, but for crying out loud it was bad enough seeing guys boxers-sometimes layers of them or plumbers crack but now the girls are getting in on the act. It is not sexy, girls. It is tres' tacky. One time I was having a few drinks with my hubby before dinner at Red Lobster. So we're at the bar and this chicky is on what looks like a first date and there is her ass crack, about 2 inches of it. So I "crack up" 'cause I had a couple Cosmos in me and start saying things not so quietly like "Can't she feel the airconditioning going down her pants?" And "for godsakes would she just pull up her pants!?" My husband is now laughing and shusshing me. Well, she either felt the breeze or I shamed her into adjusting her pants. She shot me a little look and I smiled. I don't care. I don't need to see asscrack or whaletail while I am having a cosmo and hot artichoke dip. Ok, next phrase is Muffintop: when you are wearing a shirt that is short and lowriders (maybe you even have a little whaletail going on, but I digress) and you got the tummy/lovehandle thing happening and its bulging out over your pants like the top of a muffin. That's a good one. Good visual. I have been guilty of the Muffintop, I admit. Actually, mine is more of a biscuit than a full blown muffin top. I try not to but they make shirts so freakin' short anymore. Or you get the right size and it shrinks even in cold water wash. I swear. I want to know, have fashion designers left their studios lately and walked down Main St. USA and seen the fashion atrocities being committed daily??? And here is one I will never get, being a New Yorker, I know boots are made for walkin' and fleece boots are made for SNOW. What is with the mini skirts together with UGGS in Southern California? It's 70 freakin degrees here and you see it everywhere. At the boardwalk, in the mall, schools. All I can think of is the collective stink that arises as boots are kicked off in the evening all over So. Cal. I say, set the little pigs free. I used to have fleece slippers and even in winter in NYS my little pigs were sweaty.

I realize that was all a little wierd, but its been brewing for a long time and I feel better for getting it off my chest.

Now in Knitting News: I made a hat for me out of the Noro. I know, but it begged me to do it. I am sooo in love with Noro. I want to make many many things with Noro. And not give them away. I don't care if I have a hat face or not. I love my little Noro hat.

I have a friend who now lives in Australia, the land that blessed the world with Uggs, who says that in Australia, they're worn as slippers. That they're not supposed to be worn outside the house...hey...that's a great idea..keep those nasty UGGly things in the privacy of your own home. ;)

I love 'muffintop'...too funny...and too true...(and conjures up one nasty image).
Hello auntie Beth! I have a blog too now!
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