Wednesday, December 14, 2005
I'd rather be blogging
I am also a bit depressed. Even though I am using this sunny color today, do not be fooled. It is only masking an underlying depression. My favorite 15-and a half year-old is fffffffaiiiiling everything. Yes, he is. We have done all the meetings with all the school people. I have begged, bribed, pleaded, grounded, cried and plied any other method known to parents on this child. My only conclusion can be that this brilliant (yes, he is) young man does not give a shit. He really does not. He was not behaving the least bit affected by the fffffff's on the report card. Took it in stride. I asked him "how do you feel about this, aren't you upset or stressed?" "Uhhh, nope." was the reply. It's no wonder I like to tip the bottle a bit.
Speaking of my vices, the not smoking thing is going sooo much better. I have cut down to 3 yesterday. And I am able to delay my a.m. smoke until after 9. Progress. I rewarded myself by tucking away my not smoking savings in a corner of my wallet. Then I got a little bit of yarn yesterday and some new Lantern Moon needles in a size I don't already have. I then started to knit a scarf for my father for Christmas. I have been dreading making/buying something for him because he always finds fault with it, wants to return it etc. And this from a man who actually requested deoderant for Christmas one year. My latest failure was those Trekker things you put on your shoes so you don't slip on the ice. He is accident prone, he is 79, and I swear he looks for the icy patches to try to defy them. Well, he read the directions which state do not walk indoors while wearing. This stressed him out because he would have to take literally 3 steps to the back door in them. He insisted I return them. I refused. I don't keep receipts, thats paayperweerk and responsible. I told them to just give the Trekkers away to someone at church. I have this stubborn gene, I just can't seem to quit no matter how angry or hurt he makes me. I'm gonna get it right sometime, damn it! I know I never will, deep down. But it would be nice some time to just get it right.